


Saturdays Are For the Swordsmen

by oceansgrey



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Drinking, saturdays are for the boys (and girl), swordsmen being dumbasses, swordsmen typical violence, the seven swordmen of the mist are just dumb jocks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 08:10:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18796393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceansgrey/pseuds/oceansgrey
Summary: “Today’s Saturday,” Jinpachi said.“Saturday,” Kushimaru mimicked.“Ameyuri,” Kisame shot out a hand, grabbing her arm before she could truly sink back into the couch. “It’s Saturday,”Ameyuri jerked her arm free. “What about it?”“Saturdays are for the Swordsmen,” Mangetsu said.





	Saturdays Are For the Swordsmen

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching "Frat House Drama" and there was one episode where this guy had a date with a girl but it was on Saturday, and as we all know, Saturdays are for the boys.  
> Saturdays are for the Swordsmen, and one Swordswoman.

Ameyuri felt great as she walked into the communal house where the Swordsmen resided, a pep in her step as she felt like nearly skipping into the living room where the men usually resided. Her protégé, Raiga, was seated in his usual seat, looking two seconds from fighting Zabuza and Kisame, who appeared to be in a heated argument over the proper way to hold the Executioner’s Blade, even though it wasn’t even the latter’s sword. Jinin was being his typical grumpy old self, arms folded as he watched the two nearly come to blows with one another. Mangetsu was napping in another chair, curled up in on himself, exhaustion taking over from watching after his little brother. Jinpachi and Kushimaru seemed to be at odds with one another yet again, sitting at opposite sides of the couch, avoiding eye contact.

“What’s got short stack in a good mood?” Zabuza broke his argument with Kisame short upon seeing the big grin on Ameyuri’s face. “Fuck off with your peppy attitude,”

“What’s got you smiling like an idiot?” Jinpachi asked.

“Kill someone good today?” Jinin prodded.

“Nah, she probably tormented some poor soul on her way here,” Raiga butted in.

“All of you are wrong,” Ameyuri smirked. “I have a date tonight,”

“Ooo, with who?” Kushimaru asked.

“Nobody in particular that you need to know about,” Ameyuri plopped herself down in between Zabuza and Kisame, letting out a groan as she let her sore muscles sink into the cushions of the couch. “All you need to know is that I’m gonna get more ass then you all ever will,”

Kisame snorted with laughter while Zabuza made a face in disgust.

“No one cares, Ameyuri,” he argued. “Wait,”

A sudden shock of realization went through the boys, even Mangetsu, who began to stir from his nap.

“Today’s Saturday,” Jinpachi said.

“Saturday,” Kushimaru mimicked.

“And? I have a date with Miru tonight,” Ameyuri said, sitting forward. It felt nice to sit down after such a long mission, the anticipation of a date with the cute girl from the cypher division clouding her mind.

“Ameyuri,” Kisame shot out a hand, grabbing her arm before she could truly sink back into the couch. “It’s Saturday,”

“Get your hand off me, fish face,” Ameyuri jerked her arm free. “What about it?”

“Saturdays are for the Swordsmen,” Mangetsu said.

The rest of the Swordsmen nodded in agreement, seven sets of eyes focusing on their only female companion.

“It’s for the boys,” Kushimaru said. “You have to come,”

“I don’t have to do anything,” Ameyuri said. “I’ve got a cutie I’m taking out tonight, and just because every Saturday we go get shitfaced doesn’t mean we have to do it absolutely every single Saturday,”

“But it’s tradition,” Jinin snapped his book shut. “We always do it, and have since the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist was established,”

“Like we give a shit about following traditions,” Zabuza grumbled.

“We always drink on Saturdays,” Kisame said, sounding a tad heartbroken at the prospect of Ameyuri skipping out.

Ameyuri felt like groaning, then electrocuting all of her teammates with Kiba. They were right, it had always been tradition that no matter what, with the exception of a Swordsman being on a mission, that while in the village the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist would band together and go out for drinks on Saturday nights, usually getting too drunk and either fighting people in the bar or somehow managing to stumble back to their communal home, usually with the Mizukage appearing at their door early the next day to scold them. It had been a tradition beginning under the first Mizukage, and the boys would be damned if Ameyuri break tradition now.

Last Saturday, Ameyuri had drank almost her whole body weight in cheap beer, ending the night throwing up on Raiga as he tried to lead his mentor back to the house. The boys tended to drink almost as much as her, Zabuza and Kisame ending the night with a barfight with some poor unfortunate soul as per usual, Jinin having polished off the majority of a bottle of whiskey and joining in. Mangetsu, having to be the soberest member of the group, tried to do damage control, which never worked since his bloodlust tended to get the best of him. Kushimaru and Jinpachi tended to just fight with one another, and Raiga just watched the shitshow unveil itself since he wasn’t going to take Ameyuri’s position until she died.

That was the fifth time this year Yagura had to come down to Kiri’s police station to free them, his small face set in a disappointed scowl.

They were also permabanned from seven of Kirigakure’s twelve bars.

“I guess this Saturday will just be for the boys,” Ameyuri gave an exaggerated sigh, feigning sadness for the boys, standing up. “I’ll be coming home around eleven, so you all better be out of the house, or else I’ll murder you all,”

She didn’t look back at her teammate’s faces as she slammed the door to her room to prepare for her date.

 

Giving herself a quick glance in the mirror, Ameyuri fought the urge to frown. While the boys were usually too occupied in when the next fight was, she was the only one who actively tried dating while being a Swordsman. Most men had run in fear, which was the result of Zabuza usually glaring at them from across the table and Jinin making threats of cleaving their heads open, but this time, she had managed a date that didn’t shy away from the fact that she was a part of the legendary team. Miru was cute, and Ameyuri really wanted this dry spell she had been in to end, and snagging the cute cypher ninja would be the best way to do so.

She felt out of her comfort zone, dressed up. She was used to blood caking her hands, the usual grime of battle and the odd feeling she held onto after using her lightening techniques. It almost felt as if she truly didn't fit in this dress, in the makeup that had taken her an hour to perfect. 

She looked better on the battlefield as a killing machine.

“Look at you, all dolled up,” Kushimaru teased as he walked by, reaching out to roughly pinch Ameyuri’s rouged cheek. “You actually could pass as a girl!”

“I’ll bite your fingers off if you pinch me one more time,” she threatened, shooting daggers at him.

“I think you look nice,” Mangetsu offered, glancing her over. She had somehow managed to style her unruly hair up into a ponytail, makeup subtle enough that she could pass as an everyday civilian. Ameyuri had even fished out one of her old dresses, one she hadn’t worn in years, blue with the familiar pinstriping of the Swordsmen.

“Still look like a twelve year old boy,” Jinpachi teased. “Might wanna stuff your cups if you want to bring her home tonight,”

“You all are the worst!” she shouted, slipping on her shinobi grade sandals as she pushed past Kisame to get to the door. “I’ll kill you all if you ruin this for me!”

 

Miru looked amazing as she walked into the bar, noticing the shy girl nervously drinking a glass of water. Ameyuri felt her heart skip a beat as she walked on over, Miru giving her a small wave.

“Hi, Ameyuri,” she said, smiling. “I haven’t ordered any drinks. I wanted to wait until you showed up,”

“I hope I didn’t keep you long,” Ameyuri sat down next to her, waving over their bartender.

They ordered their drinks, Miru smiling brightly at her. She was so adorable, Ameyuri thought, that it seemed too good to be true that she was on this date.

“How was your mission?” Miru asked.

“Fine enough,” Ameyuri downed her first drink quickly, talking with her hands as she described Raiga’s latest mishap. “I love the guy like a little brother, but _come on_ , at least use what ANBU taught us and-”

The sudden sound of shouting from the entrance of the bar interrupted Ameyuri’s sentence, a jolt going down her spine as if she had been caught by a lightening technique.

“Hey!” the bartender greeted, a smile on his face. “It’s the Swordsmen of the Mist!”

Ameyuri felt her eye twitch as she watched the sly smirk on her teammates’ faces as they entered the bar and settled down at a table close to the bar.

“Oh, I didn’t realize the Swordsmen were coming here,” Miru perked up, waving over at Kisame. Oh, yeah, Ameyuri realized. She forgot the two usually worked together, even after Fuguki’s death.

Mangetsu, of all people, gave her the biggest shit-eating grin she had ever seen as the Swordsmen loudly got their drinks served.

Ameyuri hid her mouth behind her hand so Miru wouldn’t see her mouthing, “I’ll disembowel every single one of you if you fuck this up for me,” Jinpachi and Kushimaru nearly falling backwards from laughing so hard.

 

 “Is this normal?” Miru whispered, leaning across the bar towards Ameyuri. The Swordswoman groaned, her forehead banging against the polished wood of the bar.

“Yeah,” she mumbled. “If you count dealing with seven dumbasses normal,”

The sounds of shouting came from two tables away, Jinin and Zabuza chugging tall glasses of whatever odd mixture of hard liquors Jinpachi concocted for their drinking contest, Mangetsu and Kushimaru loudly cheering them on while Kisame and Raiga were in the middle of some intense argument.

“Do you normally all go out and do this?” Miru asked, watching as Ameyuri picked up her head and grimaced at her band of idiots.

“I was trying to have a night without them, but yeah,” she sighed. “Every Saturday,”

Miru looked out of place in the middle of a seedy bar, too kind and good for a Kiri nin. A hand came to nervously twirl a strand of long brown hair, her eyes flitting to the dangerous looking characters in the bar.

Ameyuri hoped things would work out, but something deep in her gut told her that Miru was just too kind for swordswoman.

 

Things didn’t work out, Ameyuri’s gaze downcast as she stomped over to the table where her fellow Swordsmen were.

_“I’m sorry, Ameyuri,” Miru said, backing away from the bar. “This is just too crazy for me to handle. I don’t know if I can date one of the Seven Swordsmen. I’m sorry,”_

“Oh, hey there grumpy gills,” Kisame reached over, pinching her cheek. “Rough night?”

“You all are terrible,” Ameyuri wiggled in between him and Kushimaru, grabbing Jinpachi’s drink and draining it quickly. “You chased off my date,”

Kushimaru patted her back roughly, his movements sluggish from drinking.

“Know what will fix that bad attitude?” Jinpachi asked.

“More drinks!” Jinin shouted, waving the bartender down.

Once the Swordsmen got a round of beers delivered, Mangetsu raised his glass.

“Saturdays are for the Swordsmen!” he crowed, thrusting his drink in the center, seven other glasses clinking with his. A lot of beer sloshed out of the glasses, splashing onto the table as all Swordsmen drained their glasses.

 

Ameyuri vaguely remembered the rest of the night, her memory going fuzzy after the fight. She barely remembered Kisame picking her up and throwing her at someone like a little stun gun, as he had put it, and Zabuza actually killing someone with a fork. Jinin had knocked out the bartender for trying to cut him off, and Kushimaru and Jinpachi had reluctantly worked together to help her beat a man within an inch of his life for groping her on her way back from the bathroom. Raiga and Mangetsu had to be damage control, as usual, the two trying to corral what was essentially six drunken toddlers back to their house.

She woke up with a terrible hangover, passed out belly down on her bed, Kushimaru sleeping opposite of her, his long bony feet near her face. Thankfully, drunk Ameyuri had some sense to change into sleep clothes and somewhat wiped off her makeup, but the throbbing in her head and the fact that her stomach flopped like a fish at any small movement made her regret the night prior.

Shuffling out of bed with great effort, she stumbled down the hall and made her way to the kitchen, baby steps to prevent aggravating her poor stomach.

There was the usual sound of kitchenware being clanged around, loud feet shuffling about. Mangetsu and Kisame were cooking breakfast, Mangetsu in charge of eggs while Kisame made pancakes. Zabuza seemed to be keeping guard of the coffee pot, seated on the counter as he drank black coffee from his cup, a miserable scowl on his face.

“Morning,” she offered, pouring herself a cup of coffee. Zabuza watched her with tired eyes, an unasked question hanging in the air. “No, you all didn’t fuck up my date. She was too sweet for me,”

“And you hate sweets,” Mangetsu offered.

“No shit,” Ameyuri drained her cup of coffee, ignoring the sudden protest in her stomach. “Who knows, maybe I’m not the dating type,”

“No, you’re more the ‘electrocuting people if they look at you the wrong way’ type,” Kisame said, sliding three pancakes onto a plate and extending it to her. “And we wouldn’t have you any other way,”

“Electric gremlin,” Zabuza mumbled, offering his favorite nickname for her.

“Sorry that your date didn’t work out,” Mangetsu shrugged. “Next Saturday we’ll make it up to you,”

Ameyuri snorted before digging into her pancakes.

She’d believe that when the boys actually left her alone for a date, then maybe her dates wouldn’t get scared off.

Yes, the problem definitely sat with the fact that her teammates being seven idiots, despite the fact that they could be decent every once in a while.

The front door slammed open, and just as Ameyuri was halfway done with her stack of pancakes, an angry Mizukage stormed into their kitchen, eyes set to kill.

“Mangetsu,” Yagura said, voice low and cold. Their leader visibly startled, pausing in his movements. “We need to have a talk about ‘Swordsmen Saturdays’, _now_ ,”

**Author's Note:**

> I mainly wrote this for myself to get it out of my head lol so thank you so much for reading! I like to think that the Swordsmen, for being legendary and super important in Kiri, would get into stupid shenanigans.


End file.
